She was lined up to be a beauty Queen once,then I popped along and are dad popped off, (left). So, I was left toamuse myself from about eight years old until I was about sixteenyears old.It was when I was about eight I started dressing in my mother'sclothes, when I did I loved it, I loved the feel of the material, thecolours, the tightness. In fact, everything.And when I was dressed I felt really comfortable in what I waswearing, as if it was the real me.Once, by my misfortune, my mother Joyce had seen me all dressed upwhen she came home early one night, I was about fourteen then, but shejust looked at me, sniffed but passed no comment on it and justcarried on to the kitchen. I, of course, ran upstairs and changed backinto my normal? clothes, when I plucked up enough courage to godownstairs, my mother looked at me with a blank expression on herface, and it was never mentioned again, after that, I was extremelycareful about dressing, and made sure no one ever saw me again.I was about. And then I thought I was hallucinating or dreaming, I really did because what I saw was just impossible so I wasn't even there, I was at home in bed and I was sleeping and this was just a dream, a wet dream but a bad dream and I really really needed to wake up.Because it hurt.And the thing that hurt wasn't that Cait was cheating on me. Well, that hurt too of course but not so much that she was actually doing it but that she had told me so many times that she would never do it and I had idolized her for that and now this perfect person that would never cheat on me wasn't so perfect after all and that 'fall from grace' thing hurt.But what hurt the most was seeing Lucy like that and the thing that kept running through my head was 'That should have been me' and I should have been her first and that's why I had hated her boyfriend so much because he got to be her first and I had probably even hated her stuffed unicorn in a way because that thing actually got to be her first really, and.
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